Years ago, in my early years in our wonderful church ( I mean it)., back in 1984, in Minneapolis Churh center, we had a young member by the name of Mark, he was bright and cheekish kind of a young man. Speaking of obedience to his church center figure, during a conversational argument,he always says his favorite words " True Object Has No Mouth". and he closes his argument.

The point I want to make is this, Is it true, that a person in Cain position has no values in his/her opinions nor the right to speak? in the early months of my church experience(1982), Cain and Abel relationship was my most challenging aspacts in my faith. The idea of completely denying myself (my opinions and everything I knew about life)  and submit myself totally to the direction of a new a center figure beside True Parents, seemed strange to me. I couldn't understand why I need to deny the self, the very self that acknowledged and accepted True Parents and the teaching of the Divine Principle; how could you turn around and ask me to deny that very self? I struggeled with this issue for about two years, until God interfered.

All people( Cain and Abel) have good Opinions

One day in 1983, while pioneering a new CARP center, in Durham North Carolina, God taught me  a great lesson about Cain and Abel relationship that I will never forget. I was sent from Philip Shanker's 21-day workshop in New York to joined a new pioneering CARP group of four, led by Jack Ashworth, a bright and enthusiastic leader and a black belt Won Wa Do fellah. Most of the the goup were middle aged and grumpy people, some had heath issues, accept from one young English sister by the name of Allison, (now Buyer). We were pour fundraisers and living in the most poor part of North Carolina. Five of us go out funraising all day and we wouldn't make more than $120.00 altogather. But our enthusiastic leader had a huge mind, huge idea. He wanted to open a 2nd center in Chapel Hill, but this was not enough, he wanted to go to Al Salvadore and do some missionary work there. This had consumed me to no end! I tried to talk to my leader about the team's poor fundraising condition and financial situation but he rejected my opinion and saw me as a trouble member. 

That same day, before our team left for fundraising,our leader reported to us his plan; he is going to rent the new center in Chappel Hill. He made an appointment with the lanlord and was told that there were few other people interested in renting this house and that who ever comes first and pay the first month rent shall have the house. So he left in a hurry to get to the ladlord before we left for fundraising. This day I thought I was going to have a heart attack with worry! I was so consumed with disappointment mixed with ungar with my center figure, asking  "Why God?..If I was wrong in my opinion and my logic is not good, please tell me that my thinking is wrong. If my opinion were wrong, why am I  so consumed with it?  I talked, cried and complained to God all day long. This day, I didn't make more than $20.00. It was a very awefull day that I never forget.

The chase to rent 2nd center

At the end of our fundraising session our team went back to the center, and were surprized, our leader was waiting for us in the parking lot! He was so happy to see us, smiling and welcoming us and seemed to have a big news to tell us.  He had dinner (cooked it himself) ready prepared for us. As we set for dinner, he began to tell us his story about the new house and how he sped 90 miles an hour to get to the landlord lady and get the house before someone else got there first, and how he struggled with himself all the way (2 hours drive) if this was right, praying and asking God to stop him getting this 2nd center if it is not right. As he turned to the street corner where the house was, a truck blocked his way and took few minutes off his time. by the time the truck cleared out of his way, he sped to the house and as he drove into the house drive way, he saw a man handing the money to the Landlord Lady. Ofcourse, he talked to the lady, but the lady said to him sorry, that was the polocy, first come first served.  

 God called me out for a talk

At the end of telling us his story and how happy and greatful to God that he prevented him to get this 2nd house, he threw his arms around me and looked me in the eyes and said, " Ali, please forgive me, I made a mistake with you,I didn't valued your opinion, but God told me that I should have Listened to you" At this moment I almost bursted in tears, and after dinner I felft strong sense that God is Calling me out for a talk. This is sign of communication that I developed with God, that whenever I had a major problem to solve, I went out for a walk to Talked it out with God. I put on my jacked and told my leader that I am going out for a walk. Not a block away and I let it out! Something so powerful took over me, I was crying uncontrolably so loud, people could hear me for miles. I was thanking and praising God for His intervention and His aknowlegement of my opinion. Than God began to speak to me. He said "Ali, you are good, you have great mind and great thinking and logic, you have good heart and good intentions...But you are crossing the line with me! You see, I heard your crying and I correct it, I stopped Jack from getting the house. 'It is not your responsibility to change or force the leader, it is my responsibility to do that". The lesson I learned  that day is that, as a person in Cain position, though I have the right to express my opinion, it is not me who force the leader to follow my way, this responsibility belongs only to God. If things are not correct with a leader, our responsibility as Cain, is to pray for that leader and pray to God to correct that leader.